Sunday, August 28, 2016

Welcome to our World, Mason!

On August 21 at 1:24am, our 7lb 12 oz, 19 inch baby BOY, Mason Alexander Kinlaw, joined our little world! This is Mason's birth story. As I write this, he's snoozing on my chest and it just makes my heart burst with joy! 


He was just a couple hours old here! I love this picture and I love that Josh was able to snuggle in the bed with us!

It's a bit long, so bear with me. 

Leading up to the big day!
Mason's estimated due date was August 8, 2016, but he decided he wasn't quite ready to join us at that time. The midwives at our birthing center would allow us to go up to 2 weeks late as long as it remained safe. I went to my 40 week appointment and at that point, I hadn't had any noticeable contractions. We talked about the next steps we would take to try to naturally induce labor. I had been drinking red raspberry leaf tea and using evening primrose oil for a few weeks at this point (these things are not supposed to induce labor, but there are some believed benefits during labor - I have no idea if they helped since this was my only labor and I have no baseline). We asked if it would be OK to see an acupuncturist at some point (this is supposed to induce labor) and our midwife said yes. We decided if I didn't have any signs of labor over the weekend, I would try to make an appointment for the following Monday,when I was 41 weeks pregnant. I did just that. During my acupuncture appointment, I felt lots of movement from Baby K! For the time of day I was there, this was not normal. I was instructed to move around a lot and have Josh rub my pressure points. I felt a fair amount of pressure after my appointment. I ended up going for one more appointment on Wednesday and I experienced the same feelings. I'm confident that if nothing else, my acupuncture treatments helped our little guy move down. In the meantime, I was testing out all those old wives tales and eating all the spicy food I could tolerate, lots of pineapple, eggplant parm, green papaya...all of the foods. We tried the other things that are supposed to induce labor - walking, exercise ball, sex...yep, we did all those too. There were only 2 things left to try - a membrane sweep and drug induced induction (which we were trying to avoid if at all possible, as this would have been a cause to opt out of our birthing center birth and have to go to the hospital).

We had an appointment on Friday (I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant at that point). The nonstress test went well, but my blood pressure was high. We stopped to check it on the way home and it was fine then, so it was just because I was nervous about the appointment. I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced at the appointment and I accepted a membrane sweep. 

The Beginning
Around 3am on Saturday morning (yep, after staying up until after midnight), I started having contractions that were too strong to sleep through. They were about 30 minutes apart and I was tired, so I was able to nap in between them for the first hour or so. These were the first consistent contractions I had, so I was optimistic, but also not totally convinced that this was the real deal. I thought they may still stop. I thought I may want to eat some muffins during labor, so I decided to go make some. While I waited on them to bake, I got a snack and sat on the exercise ball to do some exercises we learned in our birthing class to help the baby move down. Bailey came downstairs and hung out with me. I continued to have contractions through all of this. They started to get a little closer together. Now, I was convinced that this was labor. It was early labor, but hey, labor is labor! The earlier contractions were not super intense. They were similar to strong period cramps and I was totally fine in between them. During them, I could talk and even continue to do what I was doing. I decided not to wake Josh up. I wanted to try to get some more sleep myself once I finished the muffins and I wanted him to be as rested as possible. It was going to be a long day and I needed him to be alert. I finally got back upstairs around 7am and he was awake. I showed him my contraction timer to let him know things were getting started! We decided to try to get some more rest and to call the midwife a little later to update her. I wasn't able to go back to sleep, but I did relax a little. Josh called her around 8:30. I think contractions were about 12-15 minutes apart by then. She told him to have me relax as much as possible and try to get some rest. Make sure I'm staying hydrated and drink between every contraction. She suggested either having some red wine or taking some Tylenol PM and try to get some sleep if at all possible. Anna brought us breakfast then I took Tylenol PM and soaked in a warm bath (which can slow labor down, but I really needed to rest, so I was OK with this at that point). It was relaxing, but it didn't slow my contractions down. I tried to get some sleep, but it just wasn't happening. After a while of just relaxing in bed, we decided to get dressed and go downstairs. 

Hanging out on the birth ball! This was between contractions.

Active labor starts!
I continued to have contractions and Josh was just great during them. He made sure I was drinking and staying focused on my breathing. Contractions were more intense at this point. I didn't want to talk during them and I had to stop what I was doing. I had to stay focused on not letting my body tense up. Josh asked if I would want some company to help distract me. I thought that might be a good idea. Anna had asked if I wanted them to bring me anything for lunch. I just wanted muffins and a smoothie, so they brought some spinach for us to put in smoothies. They hung out for a bit and we chatted between contractions. I had an herbal supplement that I got from my midwife that was supposed to help bring on contractions. I had been taking that and I took it once while the Martins were here. It was SO gross. This time, the taste of it made me get sick. I threw up everything. Contractions were closer (I think around 6 minutes apart) at this point and I couldn't get comfortable at all in between them. The Martins left and took Bailey with them. Contractions continued to progress and were getting closer and stronger. Josh called the midwife to update her and she said to have me try to rest and continue to labor at home. We were getting close and we would be coming in tonight, but not just yet. It was really hard to rest because I had to pee SO much. I was peeing every 2-3 contractions. I would always have a strong contraction right after I peed, so I almost dreaded going, but my bladder was killing me, so I had to make myself. I had a couple contractions that were 10-11 minutes apart around this time. I caught a very quick nap in between those. The contractions I had after that were the strongest so far. When the contractions were 4 minutes apart we called our midwife and she said to come on in. Josh had been getting the car loaded between contractions. We finished getting our stuff together, notified family, and hopped in the car. I took a towel to sit on just in case my water broke on the way (or in case I peed myself - haha). Neither of those things happened. The ride was uncomfortable, but not as bad as I expected. It was painful if Josh hit a pothole or uneven areas of the road during a contraction (there's construction on 40, so there were several opportunities for this to happen). We finally got to the birthing center around 8:30pm.

When we walked in, I was greeted by Mandesa, my favorite midwife!!! I knew she had been on call the night before, so I didn't expect to see her. I told her how glad I was to see her! She checked my vitals and my blood pressure was 128/78 - woohoo! She estimated the baby to be 8lbs (she ended up being much closer than our ultrasound tech). She checked my cervix and I was 100% effaced and 6cm dilated! Looking back, 3 more cm than I was the night before after having contractions for 17 hours straight doesn't seem like good progress, but I was so excited about that 3 cm then. Baby was still high and she thought it may be sunny side up. If this was the case, I may start to have intense back labor. She asked if I wanted to put the tens unit on my back and I said yes. This didn't make the back labor go away, but it did help distract me from it. She tied the rebozo around my belly to help make room for Baby K to turn over, then she told me some positions she wanted me to labor in to help as well. Josh and I were doing really well, so she left us alone to labor for a bit and she would come check in periodically. At this point, I had no more sense of time. Between contractions, Josh would run to grab anything I needed. He was absolutely amazing, massaging my back and applying counter pressure during contractions. He made sure I always had something to drink and reminded me to stay hydrated. He made sure I was as comfortable as possible and was SO encouraging. He told me when I was doing great when I was doing great with my breathing and reminded me to take deeper, longer breaths if I started to lose focus. Contractions kept getting closer and more intense. Mandesa began to spend more time with us and talk about what our next moves were. She wanted me to relax in bed for a while, then she said I could labor in the tub. We got in the bed around 10:00pm Saturday night (I just found Mandesa's labor notes on my maternity portal, so I have times for things now!) She had me labor a bit on each side in bed, with the peanut ball between my legs. That thing was amazing! When Josh was facing me, he talked to me and held my hands through the contractions. When he was behind me, he massaged me. Mandesa put on the diffuser and rubbed some oils on me to help me relax. I don't remember what it was, but it did help. At some point while we were in bed, transition started. Contractions were INTENSE at this point. I got nauseous and I was having some really bad heartburn. Mandesa offered me Zofran. I went my entire pregnancy without taking anything for morning sickness, so I turned it down at first. Then I remembered throwing up through a contraction earlier in the day and I did not want to do that again, so I took it.

Transition!
Transition is when you dilate from 8-10 cm. This is what I thought would be the hardest part of labor for me. It was very difficult, don't get me wrong. These contractions were longer and WAY more intense than they were when we left our house. It was very quick though. There is almost no break between contractions at this point - they were right on top of each other. We were ready to move to the tub, but I wanted to pee before I got in. I had a strong contraction while I was on the toilet and I felt a HUGE gush. My water broke at 11:25pm! I thought we might still have several hours to go. When I got in the tub, Mandesa checked me and I was at 9 cm (this was 11:46pm), but I did have a little bit of a cervical lip (when you're dilated, but part of the cervix is still in the way of the baby's head getting out), but she said she didn't think it would be a big problem. I still felt great about 9cm though! Wow! Such great progress! Of course, it could have been 10pm on Saturday or 3 am on Sunday and I wouldn't have known. I literally had no sense of time. I knew I had to be nearing the end of transition because of the intensity of my contractions. At this point, I had taken absolutely nothing for pain and I was tired. I asked Mandesa for the Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas) during a contraction. She said I didn't need it, that she knew I could do it, but we could talk about it after this contraction. We talked about this during our birthing class. I knew these decisions were not made during contractions, but between them. I also knew I would never ask for it between the contractions, especially after making it so far without anything. I don't know if I felt like I needed it during that contraction or if I was just curious, I just remember asking for it. In the end, I didn't get any and I'm glad (although I'm still a little curious - I've read that it doesn't take away the pain, it just relaxes you and makes you not care that you're feeling pain). It seemed like I was only in the tub for about 5 minutes before I felt the urge to push, but it was actually about 35 minutes (thank you, notes). I was fully dilated at 12:19am. 

Push it!!!
Mandesa knew I was getting tired at this point. She said I could wait for my body to push, but this would take forever, or I could push on my own between contractions as well. I was tired and I knew this next part could take a while, so I decided I would push in between contractions as well. I started pushing at 12:22am. Pushing is exhausting to say the least. I was under no impression that it would be easy, but it was harder than I thought. I thought I would get some sort of supernatural adrenaline that would make me forget how tired I was. No, I was SO exhausted, I just knew I had to get through it and we could meet our baby. It was a lot of work for both of us. Josh had to support the majority of my weight in some of the positions I was in while in the tub.  I pushed for a while in the tub, but I was not making enough progress and I was getting more and more tired, so I had to get out. I resisted, but I knew Mandesa knew what she was doing and she wanted me to try the birthing stool. We compromised and she let me try one more position in the tub. It took me a few contractions to make it out of the tub and to the stool, even though the stool was literally just outside the tub. I started pushing on the birthing stool and it was actually a lot better than I expected. It got me in a squatting position without me having teh support my weight. Squatting is great, but I definitely didn't have the energy to support all my weight AND push at this point. Mandesa had Josh sit behind the stool on the bed. At first, I was leaning forward on the stool and Josh was massaging me or applying counter pressure while I held on to the stool as I pushed. I was making much better progress here! The baby's heart rate was dropping, so I knew I had to focus and push like crazy. Next, Mandesa had me lean back onto Josh while I was still on the stool. Josh was amazing at this time and I really don't know how I would have gotten through it without him. I don't know how long I pushed, but at one point, Mandesa told us we could feel the baby's head if we would like to. Of course, we did. I still had lots of work to do, but this gave me some new motivation. The contractions were long at this point. I was able to get 3 good pushes and a 4th less strong push during most contractions. Pushing was different than I expected. I would take in a deep breath and push as hard as I could until I needed to catch my breath, then I would just repeat. I remember thinking that if my eyes were open, they would probably pop out of my head. I'm not sure if pushing would have been this intense if we weren't in "get baby out ASAP" mode, but I've never felt that much pressure in my head. I had read about the ring of fire and yep - that's a real thing. Talk about a burn! I never did scream though! I thought I would so I was pretty pleased with myself here. I kept my head straight and I knew screaming wouldn't help anything. I did cry and moan thought - I'm pretty sure I sounded like a dying cow. I remember feeling Mandesa stretch me, but I didn't even care that it hurt, because I knew it was helping to get the baby out. We had planned on Josh catching the baby and announcing the gender, but this didn't work out since he was in distress. Mason's heart rate dropped to 80 at 1:14am and I was given oxygen. I did not remember getting oxygen, but after reading Mandesa's notes, it all came back to me. That was a little scary, but they told us not to worry and I trusted them. Based on the number of times Mandesa had me change positions, we estimated that I pushed for probably an hour - hour and a half. After finding the notes, I saw that I pushed for an hour and 2 minutes. Once I pushed Mason's head out, the rest of him came relatively easy.

He's here!
The cord had been wrapped around Mason's neck twice. This is what was causing his heart rate to drop. He didn't cry immediately and his breathing wasn't great, so it was a very scary time for us. He was put on my chest immediately and I have no idea if I cried or not. I remember being overcome with happiness when he was first placed on me, then asking if he was going to be OK just a few seconds later. The midwives said he was going to be fine, he just needed a little extra attention. They were able to do just about everything they needed to do with him right on me, which I was very thankful for. I was able to see what was happening and touch him. Josh was able to touch him. Mason's APGAR scores were 5 and 8, so he recovered quickly. Josh was able to clamp and cut the cord. I wish we had pictures of some of this, but most of all, I'm glad we got to share it together. We obviously didn't plan for the issues with Mason's heart rate and breathing, but he ended up being perfectly fine and otherwise, I couldn't have asked for a better labor. Once we were assured that he was perfect in every way, I was just in disbelief that he was here. It was such an amazing feeling! I had always heard that delivering the placenta was very painful, but that wasn't the case for me. Maybe it was painful and I just didn't care because I had this beautiful baby on my chest, but I remember thinking it was actually easy. I delivered the placenta 10 minutes after Mason was born and the maternal side came first (basically, it was inside out) - it's not a good or bad thing, it's just a thing and Mandesa hadn't seen one yet (or maybe she had only seen a couple - I don't remember for sure now). The fundal massages on the other hand were quite painful. I had a bit of bleeding, so I was given a small amount of pitocin to cause my uterus to contract to help stop it. I did end up having a second degree tear that required 3 stitches. I was given a local anesthetic before getting the sutures and Ibuprofen after, but that's all of the pain medication I got during the whole labor.


Mason's first picture!

Us with Mandesa!


Not a flattering picture of me, but these are some of our first snuggles, so I love it anyway!

My loves!

Anna and John brought us food and came to meet baby Mason.

After all was said and done, I felt amazing. I was exhausted and sore, but I was great! If I had to do it over again, I would do it exactly the same, I would just rest more the day before! Of course, I wish Mason didn't have any complications at all, but the midwives handled it perfectly in not freaking me out and taking great care of Mason as soon as he arrived. I don't think the hospital staff would have done any better. Josh was the best birth partner I could have ever hoped for. I hear a lot about women saying mean things to their husband during labor, but I never even thought of saying anything mean to him. He was my rock and I really can't imagine how I would have gotten through labor without him. Especially through the hardest and most painful parts of labor, I was very much aware of that. There were times during pregnancy that I seriously considered hiring a doula, but we didn't need one. Between Josh and Mandesa, I had all the support I needed. I would have liked to have had some pictures, but I'm not sure I would have wanted the distraction of having someone else in the room.

Our little guy just before his first car ride!

The birthing center doesn't require as long a stay as a typical hospital, which is one of the things that was so appealing to us. We were able to come home the same day. Mason was born about 5 hours after we arrived at the birthing center. Once he was born, we were taken care of and our vitals were checked a few times. After Anna and John left, our vitals were checked again and we went over discharge information, then we were left alone to nap uninterrupted for a few hours. Our vitals were checked one more time before we left and we were discharged at 9:20am, about 8 hours after Mason was born. We were able to get a shower and nap before the influx of visitors started. We were so busy, we didn't get many pictures the day Mason was born, but we took some when he was one day old.



We are both so happy with our birthing experience. If you ask Josh, he'll explain it as a fun day. I don't know that I would exactly use that word, but I understand where he's coming from and I don't fault him for using it. It was an amazing, empowering and very exciting experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. Yes, it was very difficult and yes it was incredibly painful, but it was worth it all!

Friday, August 19, 2016

Baby K - 41 Weeks!

August 15, 2016


Well, friends, we are officially a week past due! My app no longer gives me any useful information or even a cute animal, so nothing new there as far as baby development. Baby is just growing at this point. We had an ultrasound on Tuesday to take a look at Baby K and make sure everything looks good and it's still safe for baby to stay put for now. I was happy to see Baby K and find out that it's safe to keep baby inside until our induction date, but our ultrasound wasn't a great experience. The ultrasound tech made sure we knew she did not support our decision to go past 41 weeks. She kept making comments about baby being too squished to see anything. It wasn't necessarily what she said, but how she said it. Josh asked a question about the umbilical cord and her response was - "Well, I really can't see anything and this baby should have already been born by now, soo...". Then, when she said the estimated weight, which was 8lb 14oz, then 8lb 11oz - My eyes got a little big and I asked her how accurate that was. She said - "Yea, that's what happens when you go this far over, this baby is definitely going to be over 8lbs." Then the Dr stepped in and asked about the fluid level and fetal movement and she said she got some movement and there was SOME fluid left, then she made sure to remind us that if our fluid levels had been low, they definitely would have induced us (at this point, I was ready to punch her. Ummm...no shit, that's the whole reason we have this appointment. I don't need you to remind me that I would be induced if it was not safe to stay pregnant, I just need to know IF it's safe to stay pregnant). She finally left and we waited for the Dr to come back. He said everything looked good and to just keep a close watch on Baby K's movements and stay active.

We had an appointment at the birthing center on Friday afternoon. We were had our nonstress test and I got my first internal check and a membrane sweep. I was a bit nervous about this appointment. When we got there, I heard a laboring woman, which reminded me of what I was going to be going through any day now. At first, the woman wasn't screaming, but she was definitely in some pain. Before we left, she was screaming. Yep, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Anyway, Baby K wasn't as active as the midwife wanted to see at first, so she brought me some juice and had me eat a snack. Movements picked up and we passed the test fine. She checked my cervix and I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Baby K was still high. My blood pressure was high, and not just a little high like it had been several other times. It was high enough so that if it went any higher, I would be transferred to the hospital for delivery. It was important to get it down. I was confident that it was because I was so nervous about this appointment though.  I got the membrane sweep as well. The cervix check and membrane sweep were a little painful, but I was excited to hopefully see some progress soon! I was instructed to call the on call midwife the next day and I would go in for a blood pressure check and another membrane sweep if necessary. There was an open house to meet the attending OBGYN. Since he would be overseeing my induction if it was necessary, we decided to stay behind and meet him and his partner. We asked a few questions and he asked a little about us. After meeting with him, I felt a little better about the possibility of being induced. I found out that he had midwives on his staff during the week, so there should be one at the hospital on Tuesday when I was scheduled to be induced. After we met with the OB, I ran into my favorite midwife and my heart sank a little. She was on call on Friday, which made me confident that she wouldn't be on call for the rest of the weekend, so if this membrane sweep worked, she probably wouldn't be catching our little one. All of the midwives at the birthing center were great, but Josh and I both connected well with her. She had just the right mix of tough love, compassion and encouragement that I thought I would need during labor. Oh well, as long as Baby K came safely, I would be a happy mama. She gave me a little pep talk and told me it was all in my head. I needed to get myself together and relax or I was going to put myself in the hospital for this labor. She told me to go home and have a glass of red wine, so that's what I was going to do. Soak in the bath, have a glass of red wine, and watch a funny movie with Josh. We stopped at CVS to check my blood pressure again on the way home and it was already down to 122/70. Great! I didn't even really want the glass of wine, so we just  picked up Taco Bell for dinner and watched a funny movie. Between pee breaks and us chatting (we were very excited that labor could start any time!), we ended up not getting to bed until midnight. I didn't have any noticeable contractions, but I had lots of bloody show...a good sign!

As far as me, I've been great this week, physically. My bladder is literally taking a beating, but otherwise I'm pretty good. I'm slow getting things done, but I'm quite large, so that makes sense. I have more energy than I thought I would at this point. From what I've seen/heard from other people, I didn't think I would be good for anything at this point. I still cook and clean (maybe not as efficiently as I did before I was carrying around all this extra weight, but I feel good about what I've been able to do this week and I have no desire to become a couch potato right now). I'm still not miserable being pregnant - nope, not even in August. I think this has a lot to do with my mindset. I've been told since the beginning that I was going to be completely miserable come July and I told myself then that I didn't want to be that cranky, miserable pregnant lady. I wanted to get pregnant and I was looking forward to growing our little human. I'm very thankful that we were blessed enough for it to happen quickly for us and I'm very excited for our little summer baby. Do I get cranky faster? Hell yes, I do, but I'm tired and hormonal, so I guess that is to be expected. It also doesn't help that people just have no filter and they think they have a free pass to comment on my appearance or just because I'm pregnant. Despite some of the less than nice comments I've gotten, I still feel like a pretty cute pregnant lady. Heck, I'm 41+ weeks during the hottest time of the year, I look a lot better than I thought I would! Yes, I'm huge, and I'm by no means "all belly", but I do feel like I'm mostly belly and I love my bump!

Emotionally, I've kind of been all over the place. I'm fine going past my due date. I've assumed that I would from the beginning. I just don't want to make it to our induction date. We still have plenty of time, so you would think that wouldn't be a concern yet, but honestly, other people make it very difficult. I've been getting "Still no baby?" comments for a while now - like since a couple weeks before my due date, (has it seriously become that uncommon for someone to actually be pregnant for more than 40 weeks?) but I was able to brush them off and not let them get to me until this week. When I'm trying to stay optimistic that my body and baby will do what needs to be done naturally, the last thing I need to hear is "I can't believe you're still pregnant!", "Ugh, I know you're just dying to get that baby out", or "Hurry up and have that baby, would you?". I know people don't mean any harm and they might even think they're being funny, but it's not funny at all. I'm hormonal. This is my first baby. I'm 41 weeks pregnant and my baby has to come out at 42+1. I feel very strongly against being me being induced as long as baby and I are safe, so I obviously want the baby to come soon too. I don't need you telling me how YOU can't wait to meet my baby so I need to hurry up and have it. Seriously, people, WTF?

Josh is super ready for baby to come. He's been talking to Baby K at night, telling him/her it's time to come out. First stern talking to from Daddy. Haha.




Baby K - 41 Weeks!

August 15, 2016


Well, friends, we are officially a week past due! My app no longer gives me any useful information or even a cute animal, so nothing new there as far as baby development. Baby is just growing at this point. We had an ultrasound on Tuesday to take a look at Baby K and make sure everything looks good and it's still safe for baby to stay put for now. I was happy to see Baby K and find out that it's safe to keep baby inside until our induction date, but our ultrasound wasn't a great experience. The ultrasound tech made sure we knew she did not support our decision to go past 41 weeks. She kept making comments about baby being too squished to see anything. It wasn't necessarily what she said, but how she said it. Josh asked a question about the umbilical cord and her response was - "Well, I really can't see anything and this baby should have already been born by now, soo...". Then, when she said the estimated weight, which was 8lb 14oz, then 8lb 11oz - My eyes got a little big and I asked her how accurate that was. She said - "Yea, that's what happens when you go this far over, this baby is definitely going to be over 8lbs." Then the Dr stepped in and asked about the fluid level and fetal movement and she said she got some movement and there was SOME fluid left, then she made sure to remind us that if our fluid levels had been low, they definitely would have induced us (at this point, I was ready to punch her. Ummm...no shit, that's the whole reason we have this appointment. I don't need you to remind me that I would be induced if it was not safe to stay pregnant, I just need to know IF it's safe to stay pregnant). She finally left and we waited for the Dr to come back. He said everything looked good and to just keep a close watch on Baby K's movements and stay active.

We had an appointment at the birthing center on Friday afternoon. We were had our nonstress test and I got my first internal check and a membrane sweep. I was a bit nervous about this appointment. When we got there, I heard a laboring woman, which reminded me of what I was going to be going through any day now. At first, the woman wasn't screaming, but she was definitely in some pain. Before we left, she was screaming. Yep, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. Anyway, Baby K wasn't as active as the midwife wanted to see at first, so she brought me some juice and had me eat a snack. Movements picked up and we passed the test fine. She checked my cervix and I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Baby K was still high. My blood pressure was high, and not just a little high like it had been several other times. It was high enough so that if it went any higher, I would be transferred to the hospital for delivery. It was important to get it down. I was confident that it was because I was so nervous about this appointment though.  I got the membrane sweep as well. The cervix check and membrane sweep were a little painful, but I was excited to hopefully see some progress soon! I was instructed to call the on call midwife the next day and I would go in for a blood pressure check and another membrane sweep if necessary. There was an open house to meet the attending OBGYN. Since he would be overseeing my induction if it was necessary, we decided to stay behind and meet him and his partner. We asked a few questions and he asked a little about us. After meeting with him, I felt a little better about the possibility of being induced. I found out that he had midwives on his staff during the week, so there should be one at the hospital on Tuesday when I was scheduled to be induced. After we met with the OB, I ran into my favorite midwife and my heart sank a little. She was on call on Friday, which made me confident that she wouldn't be on call for the rest of the weekend, so if this membrane sweep worked, she probably wouldn't be catching our little one. All of the midwives at the birthing center were great, but Josh and I both connected well with her. She had just the right mix of tough love, compassion and encouragement that I thought I would need during labor. Oh well, as long as Baby K came safely, I would be a happy mama. She gave me a little pep talk and told me it was all in my head. I needed to get myself together and relax or I was going to put myself in the hospital for this labor. She told me to go home and have a glass of red wine, so that's what I was going to do. Soak in the bath, have a glass of red wine, and watch a funny movie with Josh. We stopped at CVS to check my blood pressure again on the way home and it was already down to 122/70. Great! I didn't even really want the glass of wine, so we just  picked up Taco Bell for dinner and watched a funny movie. Between pee breaks and us chatting (we were very excited that labor could start any time!), we ended up not getting to bed until midnight. I didn't have any noticeable contractions, but I had lots of bloody show...a good sign!

As far as me, I've been great this week, physically. My bladder is literally taking a beating, but otherwise I'm pretty good. I'm slow getting things done, but I'm quite large, so that makes sense. I have more energy than I thought I would at this point. From what I've seen/heard from other people, I didn't think I would be good for anything at this point. I still cook and clean (maybe not as efficiently as I did before I was carrying around all this extra weight, but I feel good about what I've been able to do this week and I have no desire to become a couch potato right now). I'm still not miserable being pregnant - nope, not even in August. I think this has a lot to do with my mindset. I've been told since the beginning that I was going to be completely miserable come July and I told myself then that I didn't want to be that cranky, miserable pregnant lady. I wanted to get pregnant and I was looking forward to growing our little human. I'm very thankful that we were blessed enough for it to happen quickly for us and I'm very excited for our little summer baby. Do I get cranky faster? Hell yes, I do, but I'm tired and hormonal, so I guess that is to be expected. It also doesn't help that people just have no filter and they think they have a free pass to comment on my appearance or just because I'm pregnant. Despite some of the less than nice comments I've gotten, I still feel like a pretty cute pregnant lady. Heck, I'm 41+ weeks during the hottest time of the year, I look a lot better than I thought I would! Yes, I'm huge, and I'm by no means "all belly", but I do feel like I'm mostly belly and I love my bump!

Emotionally, I've kind of been all over the place. I'm fine going past my due date. I've assumed that I would from the beginning. I just don't want to make it to our induction date. We still have plenty of time, so you would think that wouldn't be a concern yet, but honestly, other people make it very difficult. I've been getting "Still no baby?" comments for a while now - like since a couple weeks before my due date, (has it seriously become that uncommon for someone to actually be pregnant for more than 40 weeks?) but I was able to brush them off and not let them get to me until this week. When I'm trying to stay optimistic that my body and baby will do what needs to be done naturally, the last thing I need to hear is "I can't believe you're still pregnant!", "Ugh, I know you're just dying to get that baby out", or "Hurry up and have that baby, would you?". I know people don't mean any harm and they might even think they're being funny, but it's not funny at all. I'm hormonal. This is my first baby. I'm 41 weeks pregnant and my baby has to come out at 42+1. I feel very strongly against being me being induced as long as baby and I are safe, so I obviously want the baby to come soon too. I don't need you telling me how YOU can't wait to meet my baby so I need to hurry up and have it. Seriously, people, WTF?

Josh is super ready for baby to come. He's been talking to Baby K at night, telling him/her it's time to come out. First stern talking to from Daddy. Haha.




Thursday, August 11, 2016

Date Night and fun weekend!

Josh and I decided to go on a date night the Friday before last. We don't know how much alone time we have left, so we thought it was a great opportunity to take advantage of kid free life for possibly the last time before needing a babysitter! 

I was off, so I used the day to run some errands. After a few hours of errands, I needed a nap, so I came home, napped, then got ready for our date. I picked Josh up and we headed out for our date night! First, food. Duh. I wanted some fried seafood, so we went to the seafood restaurant at the Farmer's Market. Not fancy by any means, but so good! After this, we were stuffed, but I really wanted some Howling Cow ice cream. We decided to go to Boxcar (it's a barcade downtown) to wait for our food to digest some. We played a few games of skeeball, then went over to Videri, a chocolate factory in downtown Raleigh. We were going to do the tour, but there was a lady and her 3 kids and they were all smacking gum. If you know Josh, you know this is a deal breaker. Heck, they were smacking so hard, it was a deal breaker for me. I couldn't even hear the lady talk and they were the only other people on the tour! So rude! Anyway, we grabbed a sample of chocolate and headed over to State's campus. My feet were hurting at this point anyway. We stopped in for our ice cream and found a comfortable place to sit and enjoy it. SO good! 

By this time, I was tired, but we knew Harrelson was completely gone, so we wanted to see what the brickyard looked like without it. It was also finally starting to cool of (just a little), so it was a decent opportunity to get a walk in anyway. On our way over, we stopped to look at the wolf statues and the brickyard preacher (for any State people, not Gary, the nicer one who didn't tell everyone they were going to Hell - Gary would have told me I was going to Hell because of the dress I was wearing) asked us if we wanted him to take a picture of all 3 of us and he said a quick prayer for Baby K. So nice! 


We made it over to the brickyard afterward and it looks SO different without Harrleson there! We walked around a bit, snapped a few pictures, and headed back to the car. By this time, we were both super tired with super full bellies. 

Where is the UFO?!?



We stopped and picked up a movie to watch at home and spent the rest of the night being lazy. We briefly talked about going to the movies instead, but quickly decided against it. I pee so often now, it would probably just be annoying. We watched at home where we can pause as needed. It was absolutely delightful.

The next evening, we had dinner with Andrew and Kristian and we went out on the boat with them on Sunday. It was an exhausting, but very fun day!

THEN, since we were still pregnant, we went on another "last" date night the following Saturday. A new restaurant opened on Hillsborough Street and we really wanted to try it out, so we did! In terms of comfort, Saturday was not a good day. It was probably one of the worst I've had in a while, so I just wanted to go home and watch a movie, so that's what we did. If you get a chance, definitely check out H-Street Kitchen. SO good!

 Maybe one of my new favorite restaurants. :-)

I had been craving poutine from a place I love in MD and this was as close as I could get. It wasn't quite as good (but we're not comparing apples to apples here - these were good fries, but duck fat fries are just on another level), but it satisfied my craving. I tell you, this might be the way to this pregnant girl's heart.

While we're very much looking forward to our new addition, we're making the most out of the time we have with just the 2 of us! Yay, dates!

Baby K - 40 Weeks!!!

August 8, 2016


Baby K is the size of a Red Panda this week! We don't know how big Baby K is, but the average size for a newborn is about 7.5 lbs and 20 inches tall. I think our little one may be a little bigger than that, but we'll have to wait and see! Baby is fully developed and we're just waiting for it to decide to make an appearance. If the little one is anything like mama, that may take a while. :-)

As I write this, we are officially past our due date! I'm 40 weeks + 3 days pregnant! Somehow, I've come to terms with the fact that I have built an entire human who is just waiting to make his/her appearance! It's interesting - in a way, I can't believe that we'll have a baby at home with us any day now, and an a way, I can totally picture the little one sleeping in the pack n play that has been set up in our bedroom for almost 2 months. We have a lunch date tentatively planned for tomorrow, that way we can have a relaxing evening at home. This way we're better rested if things to pick up during the night. This will be our 3rd "last" date before baby arrives. Haha.

We are pretty much ready. I would like the house to be a little cleaner - and I'm off work tomorrow, so I will be working on that. Between trying to prep freezer meals, keeping the house from getting less clean, and Josh spending time maintaining the yard as well as he can before baby arrives, we haven't had as much time to deep clean as I would have liked. I'm not as efficient as I used to be and it seems to take me forever to clean the kitchen I used to be able to get nearly spotless in around 30 minutes. I'm pretty hard to satisfy in terms of cleanliness anyway, so it's not surprising to me that I want the house spotless before baby arrives.

As far as symptoms go, I've had a couple of the symptoms that disappeared (or got minimal) a while ago make a comeback. My congestion is worse than it has been in quite a while and my horrible relationship with my toothbrush is back as well. My skin isn't as good as it has been for the last few months either. In early pregnancy, I had lots of breakouts. Sometime during the second trimester, I forgot to wash my makeup off a few times and I didn't wake up with pimples all over (GASP - this doesn't even happen to me not pregnant) - well, those days are over. It's definitely not as bad as it was in early pregnancy, but I'm getting a couple friends on my face here and there now. Carpal tunnel is sticking around, but it actually seems less severe this week. My left foot is numb though and it hurts really bad when I wake up in the middle of the night to go pee (which is happening roughly 3-4 times a night at this point). My side/back pain came back last week, but I went to see my chiropractor on Monday and it has improved a lot since then. 

As far as labor progress, I haven't really seen any. I've been a little crampy a couple times this week, but it hasn't stuck around for more than a minute or 2. We had an appointment on Tuesday and it went well. At the birthing center I'm going to, they don't do internal checks until I'm 41 weeks, so we don't know how dilated or effaced I may be - that appointment is scheduled for next Friday, the 19th, so I may not even make it to that point. I will also get a membrane sweep if I'm still pregnant at that appointment, just to get things going before my induction date. We have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for next Tuesday afternoon, so if we're still pregnant on the afternoon of the 16th, we'll get to see our little one one last time on the inside before the big arrival! 

I'm trying to stay relaxed and enjoy my last bit of pregnancy. My app says that if I haven't delivered, I may feel like I'd sell my left leg for Baby K to move out. I don't feel that way at all. I am anxious to meet our little one and I do feel ready, but I'm by no means rushing an exit. Honestly, I think most of my anxiety comes from the fact that we actually have an induction date now. I feel OK about it since it's not until 8/23, but if we start to get close to that date, I will be very ready to get baby out. Just not for the reasons you normally hear. I'm not miserable. I still sleep reasonably well - not as well as I did before I got pregnant, but I'm assuming much better than I will over the next few months or probably the next 18+ years. Sure, I get tired really easily now, but I'm under no impression that I'll be fully rested at any point in the near future, even when baby arrives. I still feel cute  - not at all like a blimp, unless I see my feet. It is frustrating when I need to get off the couch or something, but I just take humor in the situation and realize it's just temporary. I just don't want a hospital induction. 

I don't feel nervous at this point. Just ready. I don't even know when ready happened, it just did.I look forward to my time off work to bond with the baby, especially since Josh will get to spend some of it at home with me.

Josh is still super ready for the little one to make an appearance. I think he's just anxious with the waiting since he's away from me during the day most days. He said he just keeps waiting for a call or text saying he needs to get home. He still has play time with the baby at night and it's adorable. He reads to the baby and catches a kick or 2 in the side of the head as he lays his head on my belly. For this past week or so, baby has started to be really active during our TV time (I'm pretty sure this has at least a little something to do with the fact that TV time is also usually ice cream time). I get distracted and watch my belly more than I do our shows. lol.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Baby K - 39 Weeks!!!

August 1, 2016


Yay! We made it to August! We're due in less than a week (a matter of days by the time I'll finish this post)! How did this happen?!?

Baby K is the size of a cat this week. Basically, full sized and preparing to make an appearance. We've had a very active baby this week, especially at night while we're watching TV. I got a quick video of the craziness one night, but I sized it down to be able to text, so it's not the greatest. I'm hoping I get to catch another one like this before Baby K decides to make an exit. Either way, it's pretty amazing to see our little one moving like this!

I've watched this so many times. I just love it!

This week has been pretty good for me. I'm feeling and seeing lots of movement and Josh is too! We're just enjoying the last days (weeks?) of Baby K living on the inside! I need naps, but as long as I can sneak a short one in, I'm usually relatively energetic most days. One day this week I even baked banana bread then showed Josh how I make hamburger steak! I've done yoga a few times (still not as many as I would like) and I've gone on walks several days. Josh and I got caught in the rain trying to go for a walk yesterday. As far as symptoms go, carpal tunnel is remaining steady. General discomfort has picked up quite a bit. It doesn't take much for me to hurt these days. Not severe pain, but more than discomfort for sure. Basically, I'll have at least one body part below my lower back that bothers me by the afternoon every day. The exception is my side/back area has started to bother me again (the area that bothered me REALLY bad back around 30 weeks), but not nearly as bad as it did before. I'm at the Tylenol level of pain again for that. Unfortunately, my chiropractor was on vacation this past week. I plan on calling Monday morning to schedule an appointment (why didn't I schedule a just in case appointment when I was there last week?!?). I'm also feeling more abdominal/pelvic discomfort, especially when I move certain ways. Just when I start to think along the lines of "OK, little one, time to get out", I'll start to get a little nudge or crazy movements like the video above, or just hiccups. Either way, my mindset quickly changes to - "OK, little one, don't leave just yet", so overall, I'm in a "I'm ready when you are" state of mind.

Emotionally, I'm back and forth. I'm generally quite happy, but I'm very irritable, so it doesn't take much to change that. By the end of the day, I'm usually generally over humans. Luckily, I'm still happy to see Josh, so I haven't been cranky with him. I've been really good about not taking my frustrations with other people out on him. It sure helps when he brings hugs and Bo-Berry biscuits home to me!

Sleep is an issue on its own - so so like it has been for a while, but I think we fixed my biggest issue (except insomnia)! My sister let me borrow a wedge pillow, which has come in handy when I needed to sleep elevated because of heartburn (which has been rather fierce this week). I didn't particularly like using it for my belly, because it was like having an obstacle course in bed when I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, so we picked up a tiny one for that purpose and it has been AMAZING! It has gotten very uncomfortable, borderline painful to sleep on my side with my belly hanging these days. I used to fix this by sort of laying on my side/belly, but I haven't been into that lately. I was wedging my body pillow under my belly and it was helping, but it lifted it more than I wanted. I really just wanted something to keep it from feeling like it was hanging, not to push it up at all. This tiny little wedge pillow does that perfectly and fits under my body pillow so I don't have a mountain to climb over to go pee! It's also so much easier to move when I want to switch sides!

As I write this, it's 3:30 Saturday morning. I'm 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I'm super uncomfortable. It's a mix of insomnia and that side/back pain keeping me up at the moment. Luckily, It's Saturday and I can go back to sleep and sleep as long as I want Baby K will let me. I see possibly multiple naps in my future today. I do plan on getting some cleaning and food prep (for freezer meals) done today, but mostly, I think I'll relax during the day. We decided to go on one last date night before baby comes (unless it's over a week from now, then we might have one more ;-) ).

Josh is super ready for our little squishy to get here! I think it's the cutest. He's trying to "sneak" me spicy foods by making subtle suggestions to try hot sauce on everything. Neither of us really thinks that works, but I'll still probably be eating all the hot things as we get closer to my induction date. Haha. He's still talking to the baby at night and I love how responsive our little one is to Daddy's voice/touch. He's starting to not sleep as well as he normally does either. I'm not sure if it's anxiety over baby's arrival being so close, looking out for labor signs, or just my getting in and out of bed throughout the night. One morning this week, he left early (before I got up) to go fishing before work. He left a sweet note for me and the baby on the milk. That was a night that I slept particularly bad, so it really perked me up in the morning.

As far as baby things, other than picking up around the house and trying to keep it clean, we're prepared. Well, almost. We're still waiting for the print that will go above the dresser to be delivered, but all we have to do is throw it in the frame and stick it on the wall. All the hard work of mounting and leveling has been done. All the baby things have been washed. Bags are packed. Now we just wait. Mama K and Daddy K are ready to go. :-D

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Baby K - 38 Weeks!!!

7/25/2016


Baby K is about the size of a Pomeranian this week! I can't believe how big our "little" one is getting already! It's definitely a tighter fit in my belly than it was before, but we're still getting lots of movement. It's funny seeing the different shapes my belly is as the baby moves and trying to guess what's going on in there!

As for me, symptoms are mostly the same. Definitely still lots of peeing, carpal tunnel, my feet swell most days, some lower back pain, trouble sleeping some nights, but I still get decent sleep others (decent is if I'm able to fall right back asleep after each of the 4-5 times I get up to pee. lol). I'm noticing that I'm more tired this week, but heartburn is less frequent. In general, I've been a little more irritable during pregnancy, but that has definitely increased over this past week or 2. I am incredibly thankful that I work from home right now - I just don't know how I would deal with being around people for a full day, even people I really like.

Emotionally, I'm doing pretty well. I'm no longer sad about baby coming out soon, most of the time anyway. People keep saying things like - "I bet you can't wait to get that baby out, aren't you!" And honestly, I'm in no hurry. Sure, I'm super excited to meet our little one and to find out the sex. I'm excited to see whose features he or she has. All of those things. BUT, I will forever cherish the moments I've been able to carry this little one. All of those little movements in my belly, watching my belly move, I'll miss that. Once baby comes out, that's it. It will never go back inside. So no, I'm not rushing it out. I will miss my bump. I know I'm large, but most of the time, I don't feel like a whale. When I do, it's not when I look in the mirror, it's when I have to get out of bed. Haha. I actually still feel very beautiful, despite my once very cute, dainty feet looking like sausages. I know the way I feel about my body will change after the baby. I won't get into that right now, because I want to stay in a good mood and thinking of how my post-baby body may look doesn't make me feel the best ever. I'm uncomfortable at times, but I feel pretty great to be as far along as I am and I would definitely not say I'm miserable.

We had our 38 week appointment and we got to meet the last midwife that may be on call when we go in labor. She was super sweet! She commented on my cute belly and how soft it was, then she asked what I was putting on it. Of course that made me feel good! Aside from that though, she took the time to review when the time to come in is, some quick comfort measures for early labor, what I can be doing to prepare myself for labor now, our meal after baby comes, etc. My blood pressure was really good, baby sounded great and its heart rate was 140. I had blood drawn at my last appointment and we went over that. Everything looks great. She said I'm nowhere near anemic - my iron looks great, so keep eating what I'm eating. Keep eating everything - I think I can do that! Haha. I actually lost a little weight this week! I forgot to weigh myself last week, but I'm down about a pound from where I was at my last appointment, 2 weeks ago. It's nothing to be alarmed about - it's normal for weight gain to slow down or even to lose a little bit at the end. I'm not sure how it happened, because I eat all the time. I am trying to walk more often, which is extremely difficult with this weather we've been having lately! Either way, I'm not disappointed. I'm healthy and baby is healthy, and I MIGHT just stay under the 50 lb weight gain I was expecting! I asked if she could guess how big the baby is and while she emphasized that it was nothing more than a guess, she said she guessed probably around 7lbs. She asked how big I was and how big Josh was and she guessed that the little one would be closer to Josh's size. I expressed my concern of having difficulty pushing out a big baby and she put me at ease a little. She said she has seen some small babies work themselves into awkward positions, so sometimes a big baby isn't so bad. The thought is still intimidating, but it definitely makes me feel better. :-)

Josh is getting more and more excited. I think after we hit 39 weeks, he's ready for baby to come any time! He said he thinks he'll be super anxious just waiting and waiting for it to happen, so he hopes we don't really go past our due date. Haha. We found out he has to take his parental leave all together, and after talking about it, we've decided he'll take all 4 weeks at the beginning with me. If I need him at home while I transition back to work, he'll just work from home some and if we still want to go on a trip at the end of my maternity leave, he'll take some vacation. We both know our parental leave won't be anything like a vacation, but we're both very much looking forward to the time we get to bond with our little one without work getting in the way!!!